"Celebrity Vinyl"

nik.mercer — Tue, 27 May 2008 08:39:15 -0700

Celebrity Vinyl, out in June through Mark Batty Publisher, is a tome that takes as subject the horrendous mishaps that were... celebrity recording contracts.

Yes, Celebrity Vinyl wants you all to feel stupider still for picking up that Leonard Nimoy Mr. Spock's Music from Outer Space LP that confused fantasy (Start Trek, The Lord of the Rings) with some semblance of real life (no, Leonard Nimoy's ears weren't naturally pointy!) Read the book and "accompanying... sometimes outraged, often sassy, and always witty observations of author Tom Hamling, whose comments dissect both the graphic design of the album covers and the celebrities themselves," and there will be no doubt in your mind that Shaquille O'Neal's I'm Outstanding is just a remnant of That One Drunken Night You Shopped At Tower Records After Drinking Ten "Jäger Bombs." Celebrity Vinyl is also proud to inform you that Bruce Willis' The Return of Bruno album is not even a funny novelty item to show off to your unsuspecting friends, that Burt Reynolds' mustache gracing the sleeve of Ask Me What I Am doesn't redeem the actual songs within, and that Racquel Welch is still not hot on her 1980s "This Girl's Back In Town" single.

Read Celebrity Vinyl and weep, first with embarrassment, then with confusion, and then, finally, with a sense of humored hindsight.